Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Just shared via TikTok:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Just landed via Threads:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Broadcasted on X:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Seen just now on Threads:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Live now on Slack:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Trending via Discord:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Just shared via WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

2 months ago

0

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of "The Princess and the Rogue Hair" where instead of a sensitive princess detecting a pea under the mattress, it's you battling with a sneaky hair inside your shirt all day long! 👸🏽🕵️‍♂️ Just like the princess, your quest for comfort is never-ending, and this rogue hair seems determined to be the villain of the story! But fear not, for you are the brave protagonist in this modern fairy tale,

annoyance, crazy, day, discomfort, driving, except, hair, humor, inside, me, pea, princess, rogue, shirt

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

0

2 months ago

distraction, humor, i, management, multi-tasking, multitasking, procrastinator, put, put off, things, time, time management
How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

0

2 months ago

able, direct, handle, humor, irony, nature, outside, plant, sunlight
My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

0

6 months ago

boyfriend, daughter, family, girlfriend, humor, looking, much, own, parents, proper, relationship, started, take
A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

0

5 months ago

authentication, frustration, humor, me, poorly, request, security, stress, technology, thing, timing, two-factor, two-factor authentication
They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

0

2 months ago

every, hour, hours, humor, messy, problem, procrastination, room, solution, still, time, waiting
I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

0

2 months ago

am, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, easily, humor, i, offended, personality, sarcasm, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

65 shares on Threads this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Just landed via Pinterest:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Trending via Facebook:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Going viral on Slack:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Trending via Discord:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴