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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Shared recently on Discord:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Live now on WeChat:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Breaking via Discord:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Trending via Pinterest:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Spotted on Reddit:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Going viral on Discord:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Trending via Facebook:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

0
They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a chance for Jeff's legendary 'grill master' pose to be immortalized in bronze! 🍔🔥🗿"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

42 shares on Slack this month:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

83 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Just landed via Messenger:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Going bananas on X:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Just shared via Discord:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear Santa, Money!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

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