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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Just landed via Reddit:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Breaking via WeChat:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Just landed via Threads:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Just shared via Slack:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Seen just now on Messenger:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

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“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.
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Commentary:
Looks like my family tree just got a little more "unc"ertain! 🌳🤔😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Shared recently on Slack:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Just landed via Slack:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Making waves on Telegram:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Just shared via X:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

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