Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Trending via Instagram:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Going viral on Instagram:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Spotted on Messenger:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Trending via WhatsApp:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Couples who roast together, toast together! 🔥😂❤️"

couple, couple humor, hate, hatred, humor, humor quote, people, relationships, romance, romantic, same, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

0

2 months ago

clerk, decision, funny moment, help, here, humor, i, interaction, liquor, liquor store, me, moment, need, social, social interaction, store, yes
Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

0

1 month ago

academic, academic career, career, comparison, humor, love, pursuit, stripper, thinking
I love my bed so much, what a place.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, much, place, relaxation
Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

0

4 weeks ago

cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism
I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

0

2 months ago

alternate, app, family, join, start, taken, taken down, Twitter
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, language, let, nothing, self-awareness, slang

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

17 shares on Messenger this month:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Going viral on Threads:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Spotted on Messenger:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Trending via TikTok:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Spotted on Twitch:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Shared recently on X:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨