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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Spotted on Reddit:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Seen just now on X:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Live now on Pinterest:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Trending via WeChat:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via Instagram:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's looking for a 'core' relationship! 🍎😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

59 shares on Discord this month:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Making waves on Pinterest:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Going viral on Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Going bananas on Threads:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

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