Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Live now on Snapchat:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Seen just now on Slack:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Trending via TikTok:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Live now on Telegram:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Just landed via Reddit:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Like wanting a donut so much it makes me mad that I didn't buy a dozen 🍩😤 #CrushingHard

attraction, bad, desire, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, little, relationship, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

0

2 months ago

bar, employment, gaps, humor, job, job search, resume, search, space, space bar
“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

0

2 months ago

advice, criticism, God, humor, i, life, life advice, notes, okay, plan, sarcasm, well
Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

0

3 months ago

digestion, gastrointestinal, health, humor, problem, problems, sexual, spiritual
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

change, ever, excited, excitement, food, humor, kid, likes, new, parenting, tomorrow, unpredictability
October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

0

2 months ago

autumn, beautiful, beauty, brief, horror, horrors, humor, know, month, months, October, season, situationship
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

0

2 months ago

electrocution, enough, health, humor, i, joke, memory, mental, mental health, need, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

11 shares on Discord this month:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

77 shares on Discord this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

30 shares on X this month:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Going viral on Messenger:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Just shared via Telegram:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨