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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Just shared via Slack:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Making waves on Telegram:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just landed via X:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Making waves on Facebook:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Spotted on Discord:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Spotted on Twitch:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

2 months ago

0

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Offering coffee as a solution for someone who seems unhinged? That's one way to stir things up! ☕️🌀 Who knew caffeine could be the answer to keeping it together? Let's hope the coffee beans bring some stability to the situation!"

casual, coffee, conversation, friendship, humor, should, social, unhinged

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

0

2 months ago

chip, chips, classic, classic combo, Coca Cola, combo, funny observation, guy, just, knows, lay’s, Lay’s chip, observation, seen, snack, stuff, yellow
I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, everyday, everyday life, house, humor, i, leave, life, people, reactions, sarcasm, social, social anxiety, weather
Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

0

2 months ago

fast, financial, humor, i, life, money, spending
Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

0

6 months ago

give, humor, plot, plot twist, sign, twist, universe, waiting
Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

0

2 months ago

condom, humor, idiot, idiots, prevention, produce, relationship, responsibility, stock, stock up, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WeChat this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

30 shares on X this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

100 shares on X this month:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Making waves on X:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

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