Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My middle finger salutes you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Going viral on X:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Just landed via X:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Just landed via Instagram:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew crystal healing could be a contact sport! 😂💎 Just watch out for the crystal bruises! ⚡🧦 #SocksAndStonesMayBreakYourBones"

absurdity, activity, crystal, humor, joke, playful, put, sock, start, swinging, unconventional, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, alive, army, battle, death, Eager, easy, Europe, heads, history, humor, life, medieval, pretty, wanted
His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

0

2 months ago

confetti, destination, dollar, heavy, humor, luggage, palm, palm tree, party, Serengeti, store, travel, tree, trees, tux, vomit, wedding
I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, Buddhists, freak, freak out, humor, i, irony, mindfulness, reactions
I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

0

6 months ago

being, drunk, humor, loneliness, much, night, okay, relationship, single, too, while
I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

0

2 months ago

anything, desire, goodbye, i, never, rekindle, relationship, see you
Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

0

2 months ago

awareness, brain, brain damage, damage, excessive, humor, irony, know, me, sarcasm, screen, screen time, shows, study, technology, time, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

15 shares on X this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

74 shares on Threads this month:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Just shared via Facebook:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Seen just now on Threads:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Freshly posted on Threads:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Making waves on Slack:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Going viral on YouTube:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨