Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Just shared via Slack:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Breaking via X:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Just landed via WeChat:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew crystal healing could be a contact sport! 😂💎 Just watch out for the crystal bruises! ⚡🧦 #SocksAndStonesMayBreakYourBones"

absurdity, activity, crystal, humor, joke, playful, put, sock, start, swinging, unconventional, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

0

2 months ago

bottom, dented, head, humor, resilience, rock, self-deprecation, struggle
Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media
Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

0

2 months ago

car, commute, conversation, hilarious, humor, just, me, morning, myself, self, talking
I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

0

1 week ago

actually, attitude, bring, culture, humor, i, manager, sort, urgency, urgent, vibe, work, work culture, workplace
This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, big, exaggeration, fear, funny story, glass, humor, last, me, night, phobia, postcard, put, spider, story, time
I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

0

2 months ago

activity, advanced, another, humor, i, observation, people, people-watch, spot, watch, watcher, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Twitch this month:

January is the Monday of the year.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

53 shares on X this month:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Trending via Discord:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Spotted on Discord:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Making waves on TikTok:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Live now on TikTok:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨