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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Going viral on Instagram:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Making waves on Threads:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Live now on Facebook:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Spotted on TikTok:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

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A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the industrious beaver – an otter with a taste for blueprints and hard hats! 🏗️🦫 Who knew these furry engineers were just the otters who took their careers to the next level? Watch out, world – the beavers are building a dam(n) good reputation! 😄🌲"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

13 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Making waves on Twitch:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Going viral on YouTube:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Making waves on Facebook:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Trending via Telegram:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Making waves on Reddit:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Spotted on Facebook:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

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