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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Just shared via Discord:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Trending via Snapchat:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Trending via Discord:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Breaking via Twitch:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Breaking via Reddit:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Coughing like a toddler is my new anti-aging secret 😂👶💨

age, childish, coughing, humor, joke, playful, regress, silly, toddler, tongue

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

0

2 months ago

decision, decisions, humor, i, overthinking, self-deprecating, still, worst, worst decision
Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

0

2 months ago

better, bitter, feelings, humor, i, old, perspective, thought
It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

0

5 months ago

48, doing, doing nothing, exhausted, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, laziness, naturally, nothing, relaxation, spend, still, tiredness, weekend
It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

0

2 months ago

drug, gambling, life, motivation, people
I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

0

2 months ago

decision, done, Elvis, fast, humor, ID, marriage, married, meet, person, wanted, wedding
Manifesting you in my bed.

0

5 months ago

attraction, bed, flirting, humor, manifesting, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

42 shares on X this month:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

39 shares on Discord this month:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Shared recently on WeChat:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Spotted on Facebook:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Trending via WeChat:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Live now on Slack:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Manifesting you in my bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨