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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Breaking via Reddit:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Shared recently on X:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like aging gracefully runs in the family, or should I say, the litter 😸🎂

age, animal, animals, crazy, family, funny question, humor, mom, older, only, question, why, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

0

4 weeks ago

beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star
Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

0

4 months ago

annoyance, annoying, communication, email, heart, humor, newsletter, nothing, receiving, sarcasm
I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

0

2 months ago

bugs, confusion, humor, i, inside, irony, nature, outside, understand, whole, why
I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

0

2 months ago

am, announcement, bravery, dark, dark room, funny moment, humor, i, moment, mouse, myself, room, self-awareness, whenever, yesterday
Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

0

3 months ago

going, humor, motivation, overthink, procrastination, thinking, wake, wake up
Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

0

2 months ago

am, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, late, lateness, person, personality, self-deprecation, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

38 shares on Slack this month:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

46 shares on Slack this month:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Live now on Slack:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨