Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Making waves on Telegram:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Just shared via X:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Trending via Messenger:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Balloons: the original 'blow and behold' gifts! 🎈😂 #BreathtakingGifts"

balloons, birthday, breath, happy, humor, plastic, plastic sack, quirky, sack, sarcastic, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

0

2 months ago

activity, app, back, dating, dating app, going, humor, new, shame, social, social activity, walk, walk of shame
I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

0

5 months ago

energy, give, humor, i, only, people, trust, unemployable, unemployable energy
I am single, please disturb me!

0

2 months ago

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single
I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

0

5 months ago

communication, feedback, humor, i, insane, insane person, interaction, know, let, media, online, online interaction, people, person, social, social media, think, thought, thoughts, type
Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

0

2 months ago

back, coming, comparison, dysfunctional, dysfunctional family, family, humor, media, return, returning, social, social media, Twitter
If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

0

2 months ago

growth, humor, i, mind, mistake, reflection, today, wisdom, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

46 shares on Discord this month:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

79 shares on X this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Going viral on Discord:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Just shared via X:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Just landed via X:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

I am single, please disturb me!

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨