Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Live now on Snapchat:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Just landed via Messenger:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Trending via Twitch:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Just landed via Reddit:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Just shared via Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to be sober when you don't even enjoy your own company is like a one-person party with no snacks 🎉🚫🍕 #SelfLoveStruggles"

addiction, being, easier, humor, i, lot, myself, reflection, self-acceptance, self-esteem, sober, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

0

2 months ago

call, humor, morning, people, radio, real, stations, wake, wake up
Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, listen, man, memory, never, relationship, remember, rule, something, woman
Oh good. Another day.

0

2 months ago

another, day, good, humor, irony, oh, pessimism, routine, sarcasm
I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

0

2 months ago

activity, button, buttons, fun, fun activity, humor, i, Instagram, liking, media, pressing, pressing button, social, social media, story
Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

0

2 months ago

2, accidentally, closed, frustration, humor, internet, just, meaning, past, procrastination, read, tab, time
This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

0

2 months ago

anti-party, empty, empty room, event, gathering, humor, irony, joke, room, social, social event, success

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Facebook this month:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Just shared via X:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Spotted on Twitch:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Oh good. Another day.

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨