Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

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I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

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Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

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Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

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I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

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I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

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It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

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I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

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You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

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What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

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Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.