Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Breaking via Messenger:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living my best 'mystery novel with a broken spine' life! 📚🔍😆"

born, chance, forced, humor, i, irony, mysterious, personality, quiet, self-deprecating, talkative, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

2 weeks ago
ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep
Be nice today, the world is on fire.

1 month ago
chaos, encouragement, fire, humor, nice, positivity, today, world
I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

1 month ago
anxiety, Buddhists, freak, freak out, humor, i, irony, mindfulness, reactions
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

4 weeks ago
accent, American, American accent, fake, fake accent, humor, language, literally, pronunciation, slang, speech, want
One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

1 month ago
aging, burner, carefree, change, day, favorite, humor, life, life stages, next, stages, stove, stove burner, young, youth
One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

1 month ago
act, drunk, even, fool, humor, i, me, need, personality, spontaneity, thing

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Just shared via Discord:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just shared via Messenger:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏