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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,895

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Just landed via YouTube:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Trending via Twitch:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

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Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.
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Commentary:
Well done, you've officially won the highly coveted Slowest Race trophy! 🏆🐢🚦

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Sane is boring.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,018

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Shared recently on Discord:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Making waves on Reddit:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Seen just now on Threads:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Trending via Pinterest:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

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