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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Going bananas on Discord:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Trending via TikTok:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Broadcasted on X:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Trending via Facebook:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

3 hours ago

Playful quote about abandoning dating apps for love in World of Warcraft.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Leveling up in love! Who needs swipes when you have loot drops? 🎮💘✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

30 shares on Threads this month:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

43 shares on X this month:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

19 shares on X this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Going viral on Facebook:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Just landed via Discord:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Live now on Facebook:

I need a massage for my brain.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

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Activity Log ✨

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨