Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Trending via Threads:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Going viral on Twitch:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a full-body workout! 🏋️‍♂️😱 Maybe next you'll get into calm-collecting! 😂🧘‍♀️

anxiety, hobby, humor, panicking, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

0

2 months ago

fast, fast food, food, good, good health, health, humor, irony, making, McDonald’s, promotion, unaffordable
I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

0

2 months ago

comedy, expert, humor, i, joke, politics, sarcasm, satire, think, UK, unity
Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

0

2 months ago

another, dating, flirtation, humor, i, link, love, me, music, post, relationship, Spotify
Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

0

5 months ago

computer, device, evil, feels, healthy, humor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time
Men need women, women need men. The end.

0

2 months ago

end, humor, love, men, need, partnership, relationship, women
Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

0

2 months ago

conclusion, conclusions, essay, following, humor, necessary, question, why, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on X this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Just landed via Instagram:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Trending via YouTube:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Making waves on Threads:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨