Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Sure thing! How about this: "If you think I'm bad at texting now, just wait until I'm ghosting you on the Ouija Board! 👻📱 #TextsFromTheAfterlife"

after, afterlife, answer, board, communication, contact, die, even, ghost, humor, i, me, ouija, Ouija Board, technology, texts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

0

2 months ago

away, black, clothes, fashion, packing, seasonal, summer, time, unpacking, winter
Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

0

5 months ago

40, clingy, hours, humor, job, jobs, me, need, week, why, work
Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

0

2 months ago

animal, casual, cat, everyday, hands, humor, hygiene, laundry, pet, sarcasm, sink, towel, washing
My life is based on a true story.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, irony, life, self-deprecation, story, true, true story
Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

0

2 months ago

donuts, humor, job, just, layoff, snack, tank, think, think tank, thinking, workplace
I have a yearning disability.

0

2 months ago

disability, humor, i, longing, wit, yearning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

46 shares on X this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Going viral on TikTok:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Just landed via Messenger:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Just shared via Reddit:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

My life is based on a true story.

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

I have a yearning disability.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨