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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Itโ€™s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

Itโ€™s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

The only recipes they have online are where Iโ€™m the one whoโ€™s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. Thatโ€™s not what Iโ€™m looking for.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,545

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,545

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,868

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on X:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you see me looking zoned out, itโ€™s because Iโ€™m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

After all the books are banned, theyโ€™ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Just landed via Twitch:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Shared recently on Slack:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Seen just now on WeChat:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out Iโ€™m just broke.

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.
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Commentary:
Sounds like spending time with a magician โ€“ here one second and *poof* the next! ๐ŸŽฉโœจ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,545

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,545

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,906

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think Iโ€™m a dad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

People should be able to call in healthy: โ€œLook, Iโ€™m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I donโ€™t want to waste it on being at work.โ€œ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I wonโ€™t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

When Iโ€™m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Do you ever feel like youโ€™re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Just landed via YouTube:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Trending via Telegram:

I canโ€™t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Shared recently on Slack:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Shared recently on Threads:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate when I finish a show and donโ€™t know what to do with my life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Breaking via WeChat:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Shared recently on X:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

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