Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going bananas on Slack:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Making waves on Discord:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Trending via WeChat:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Going viral on Threads:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like spending time with a magician – here one second and *poof* the next! 🎩✨

disappear, enjoy, humor, i, love, me, presence, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

2 months ago

activity, excuse, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental activity, oh, overthinking, right, sorry, things, worry, worrying
I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

2 months ago

benedict, breakfast, cooking, egg, eggs, Eggs Benedict, expensive, food, humor, i, just, kitchen, mistake, poach, tried, understand
Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

2 months ago

alone, better, humor, humorist, joke, left, me, sarcasm, self-deprecating, things, wit
No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

2 months ago

humor, know, me, memory, only, revenge, suffer, suffering, wit
I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

2 months ago

bathroom, camera, fogging, humor, i, issues, myself, photography, picture, selfie, shower, steam, take, tried
I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

2 months ago

ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Live now on Telegram:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Seen just now on Discord:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Breaking via Reddit:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Broadcasted on X:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Just shared via Twitch:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Going viral on WeChat:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨