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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Jan 6, 2026

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Seen just now on X:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Breaking via Discord:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Going viral on Reddit:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Going viral on Instagram:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Freshly posted on X:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

2 months ago

0

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that would certainly make for a busy doctor! 🚨🩺 Imagine being on-call 24/7 just in case someone needed you to play a game of Operation! Looks like we've found a new spinoff show – "Grey's Anatomy: Oncall Edition"! 🤣 #DoctorDrama

call, doctor, humor, i, joke, just, medical, medical profession, misunderstanding, oncologist, profession, thought, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

0

2 months ago

calm, ever, humor, irony, mental, mental state, paradox, state, stress
I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

0

2 months ago

around, bear, casual, eat, eating, friends, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, pantsless, pooh, Pooh Bear, relaxed, want
Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, cleanliness, door, expectation, gas, gas station, humor, i, man, open, prayer, restroom, risk, say, short, station, whenever
I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

0

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, i, laundry, me, no one, procrastination, relatable
To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

0

2 months ago

comparison, cooking, essential, essential oil, food, humor, me, oil, sarcasm, taco
Being alone is my favourite way of being.

0

5 months ago

activity, alone, being, being alone, favorite, favorite activity, favourite, introvert, personal, personal space, self, self time, solitude, space, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Trending via X:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Just shared via Telegram:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Just landed via Telegram:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Just landed via Twitch:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

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