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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Trending via TikTok:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Making waves on WeChat:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Going viral on Facebook:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Trending via Facebook:

Math is like Chinese to me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Spotted on Telegram:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Just landed via WeChat:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Making waves on WeChat:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Reported on Pinterest:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

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