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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Spotted on Threads:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Just landed via YouTube:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Making waves on Twitch:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Trending via Facebook:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Making waves on Facebook:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Live now on Messenger:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Funny barber quotes

Funny barber quotes ✂️😂 bring a fresh buzz of laughter to your day! Whether you’re waiting for that perfect fade or reminiscing about quirky salon moments, these witty gems will make your hair-raising experience a lot more fun. Get ready to snip, laugh, and maybe even share a laugh with your barber – because great hair and good humor go hand in hand! 💈🤣 #BarberLife #LaughOutLoud

New funny barber quotes 👇

All funny barber quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

58 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

56 shares on Discord this month:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want this laziness removed from my body.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Seen just now on Threads:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Just landed via Messenger:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Breaking via Slack:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

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