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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Shared recently on Threads:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Just landed via Instagram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Going viral on Slack:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cool times create cool guys.

Trending via Twitch:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Trending via Slack:

I am half agony, half hope.

47 Funny belief quotes

More funny belief quotes 👇

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

0

3 months ago

belief, big, birthday, celebration, day, day off, going, humor, work
Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

0

3 months ago

belief, care, conspiracy, Earth, earther, flat, Flat Earther, humor, much, question, skepticism, why
My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

0

3 months ago

again, appliance, belief, boomer, boomer belief, humor, malfunctioning, malfunctioning appliance, most, problem, problem-solving, slapping, solving, work
You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

0

3 months ago

belief, believe, confidence, delusion, delusional, humor, motivation, much, self, self-belief, yourself
So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

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4 months ago

anyone, apocalypse, belief, climate, climate disaster, die, disaster, disasters, end, humor, just, know, mass, mass belief, psychosis, religion, religious, satire, survival, thing
I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

0

4 months ago

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature
I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

0

6 months ago

atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts

For even more funny belief quotes, hit next 👇

All funny belief quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

88 shares on Discord this month:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Live now on Messenger:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Making waves on Twitch:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Spotted on Messenger:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Just shared via Snapchat:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Breaking via Twitch:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Activity Log ✨

47 Funny belief quotes

More funny belief quotes 👇

All funny belief quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨