147 funny care quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Apr 1, 2026

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Apr 1, 2026

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Apr 1, 2026

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Apr 1, 2026

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Apr 1, 2026

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Apr 1, 2026

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Apr 1, 2026

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Apr 1, 2026

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Apr 1, 2026

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Apr 1, 2026

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Apr 1, 2026

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Apr 1, 2026

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Mar 31, 2026

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Mar 31, 2026

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Mar 31, 2026

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Mar 31, 2026

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Mar 31, 2026

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Mar 31, 2026

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Mar 31, 2026

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Mar 31, 2026

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Mar 31, 2026

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Mar 31, 2026

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Mar 31, 2026

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Mar 31, 2026

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Mar 31, 2026

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Mar 31, 2026

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Mar 30, 2026

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Mar 30, 2026

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Mar 30, 2026

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Mar 30, 2026

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Mar 30, 2026

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Mar 29, 2026

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Mar 29, 2026

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Mar 29, 2026

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Mar 29, 2026

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Mar 29, 2026

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Mar 29, 2026