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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Just shared via Telegram:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Shared recently on Slack:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Just landed via Twitch:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Just shared via Facebook:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Breaking via X:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Funny censorship quotes

Funny censorship quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of silencing words 🤐😂. They poke fun at the absurdity of what’s allowed and what’s not, making you laugh while thinking twice about freedom of speech 🎭✂️. Ready to enjoy clever jabs and witty takes that’ll have you chuckling and questioning authority all at once? Let’s dive into the playful side of keeping things “appropriate” 🙃📵!

New funny censorship quotes 👇

All funny censorship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Telegram this month:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

23 shares on X this month:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Spotted on Twitch:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Going bananas on YouTube:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Live now on Pinterest:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

At least life has music.

Just shared via Reddit:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

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