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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Going viral on TikTok:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Seen just now on Discord:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Spotted on Messenger:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Shared recently on Threads:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Seen just now on Slack:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Just shared via X:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Reported on Telegram:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Going viral on Reddit:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Live now on Slack:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Live now on Slack:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Spotted on Instagram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

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