Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you've got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals"
111 Funny child quotes
If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.
Commentary:
"Want to know the most expensive item in a store? Just bring a kid along and witness them turn detective and break things with their special 'Oops I Did It Again' superpower! 💸🕵️♂️🚨 #KidDetective"
If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.
Commentary:
"Looking for a cheap energy source? Look no further! Just ask any parent with a child who suddenly becomes a night owl at bedtime for a limitless and renewable energy supply! 🔋💤 #ParentingPowerSource"
Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.
Commentary:
Beware: after today's stingray lesson, the living room is officially a no-swim zone! 🏊♂️➡️🚫🤣
I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.
Commentary:
Chic, but with twice the sassiness in one fabulous package! 👠👧💁♀️
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.
Commentary:
Toddlers have life goals figured out: sleep like a cat, eat like a king, and rebel like a rockstar! 😴🍝🤘
Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.
Commentary:
Oops! I think I need to file this under 'Mission Impossible'. 🍫🔍😬
I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.
Commentary:
Honestly, food being shared is a real-life healing potion for my inner child 🍕🍟❤️🩹
The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.
Commentary:
Looks like we need a "grown-up supervision" feature for adults too! 🤦♂️😂 #AdultingFail
I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just following the parental payback plan! 💸😆👶