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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Trending via Facebook:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Trending via Discord:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Trending via Telegram:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Breaking via Telegram:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Funny chilling quotes

Funny chilling quotes bring the perfect blend of laughter and relaxation to your day 😄❄️ Whether you’re kicking back with friends or enjoying some solo downtime, these witty gems keep the vibes light and cool 😎✨ Get ready to smile, unwind, and embrace the chill with a splash of humor that’s as refreshing as your favorite icy drink 🧊🍹 Let the good times and giggles roll!

New funny chilling quotes 👇

All funny chilling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

23 shares on Discord this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Just landed via Telegram:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Shared recently on Threads:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Spotted on Facebook:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

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