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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Trending via Messenger:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Spotted on Facebook:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going viral on Threads:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Going viral on Telegram:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Funny chilling quotes

Funny chilling quotes bring the perfect blend of laughter and relaxation to your day 😄❄️ Whether you’re kicking back with friends or enjoying some solo downtime, these witty gems keep the vibes light and cool 😎✨ Get ready to smile, unwind, and embrace the chill with a splash of humor that’s as refreshing as your favorite icy drink 🧊🍹 Let the good times and giggles roll!

New funny chilling quotes 👇

All funny chilling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

56 shares on Discord this month:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Making waves on X:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Going viral on X:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Just shared via Reddit:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

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