91 funny face quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

May 21, 2026

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

May 21, 2026

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

May 21, 2026

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

May 21, 2026

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

May 21, 2026

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

May 21, 2026

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

May 21, 2026

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

May 20, 2026

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

May 20, 2026

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

May 20, 2026

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

May 20, 2026

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

May 20, 2026

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

May 20, 2026

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

May 20, 2026

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

May 20, 2026

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

May 20, 2026

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

May 20, 2026

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

May 20, 2026

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

May 20, 2026

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

May 20, 2026

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

May 19, 2026

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

May 19, 2026

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

May 19, 2026

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

May 19, 2026

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

May 19, 2026

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

May 19, 2026

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

May 19, 2026

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

May 18, 2026

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

May 18, 2026

The official signal to go to sleep isn’t yawning. It’s dropping your phone directly onto your own face.

May 18, 2026

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

May 6, 2026

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Apr 1, 2026

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Apr 1, 2026

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Apr 1, 2026

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Apr 1, 2026

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Mar 31, 2026

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Mar 31, 2026

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Mar 31, 2026

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Mar 31, 2026