Commentary:
"Move over, VIPs coming through! 🐦🛣️😂 #GooseGoals #EntitledWaddle"
468 Funny family quotes
As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Commentary:
"Ah, the original 'Chef's Special'—with a side of tough love! 🍽️😂"
Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.
Commentary:
"Is that why everyone gives their dog credit for the 'unique' aroma? 😂🐶🏠 #NoseBlind"
Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Truck Time-Out' strategy! 🚚🤔😂 #DadLogic"
My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.
Commentary:
"Guess that explains why my DNA results came back as 50% rye and 50% 'party time'! 🥃🤣🧬"
Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”
Commentary:
"Going from fillings to felonies! 🦷➡️🚔 Who knew the drill could lead to thrill! 😆🤦♂️ #MomKnowsBest"
Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'broccoli deception'—Oscar-worthy performances every meal! 🍔🥦😂"
If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.
Commentary:
"When you realize the fridge is just as empty in a mansion 🍽️🤷♂️ #StayHungry"
My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.
Commentary:
"When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.
Commentary:
"Your wife's dedication is unmatched! 🚗🎶 She won't let a driveway stop her from finding THE perfect song! 😄🙌"