Commentary:
Just started my kombucha fan club—our meetings are literally a gut feeling! 🍹😄
409 Funny health quotes
The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.
Commentary:
Making waves in productivity one bathroom break at a time! 🚰🚽💦
Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm on the hunt for a new doctor now! 🍻🚫😂"
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Commentary:
Sounds like we need more practice in the ancient art of not doing anything! 🧘♂️🛋️😅
I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.
Commentary:
Winter's coming and my iron levels are already packing their bags! 🧥❄️🥶
The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be staying perpetually young at heart, washing my hands like every day is my birthday! 🎂🧼🤣
Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.
Commentary:
Sleeping away the sadness like a pro 😴💤 #HackLife
I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.
Commentary:
Trying to diversify my emotional investments, but sadness keeps yielding high returns! 📉😂🔄
Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).
Commentary:
I'm all for this cause, just need a minute to get dizzy first! 🥴💪🍎
If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.
Commentary:
Getting the mixtape ready for my doctor’s office since it looks like I'm cruising down memory lane straight to the colonoscopy ward! 🚗💽🩺