Commentary:
I call it "karaoke confidence" 🎤😅🎶
14856 Funny humor quotes
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.
Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.
Commentary:
Starting my day at 4 p.m. really shows how angelic I am 😇✨ #BlessedProcrastinator #LivingMyBestLife
I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.
Commentary:
Skipping gym and rent—a multitasking genius! 🏋️♂️🔒😄
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.
Commentary:
Looks like the closet won this round, but at least I've now discovered a hidden dimension! 🕵️♂️🌀👕
The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).
Commentary:
When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card 💳🕛💸
Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.
Commentary:
Spooking my way through life: fabulous but forever needing a ghostly GPS! 👻✨🌲
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm the hot new snack in town! 🦟❤️🍽️"
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!
Commentary:
Sounds like a busy day of multitasking in the art of doing nothing! 🛋️😂🕰️
I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.
Commentary:
Rooting for this guy like I'm cheering for my mattress topper 🛏️🤣📈