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Chuck Norris can use laughing gas to make rocks giggle 🤣🪨🐦
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.
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Haunting level: professional! I'm here… sometimes. 👻💌
The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.
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Totally agree, my life's been buffering since 39! 😂🕺📅
I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.
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When introvert mode is activated, even the windows join the witness protection program! 🚫🏠🙈
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.
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Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅
The older I get, no.
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"The real secret to aging is mastering the art of absolutely nothing. 🧙♂️🚫😂"
When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.
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Living the dream: skip the work and go straight to the tropical beach villa! 🍹💸🏝️
My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.
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Parenting: the ultimate extrovert marathon for introverts 🚶♂️😅🏃♂️🎉
I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.
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Living the ultimate dream of snack-time, nap-time, and story-time! 🎉📚😴🥪
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.
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Sounds like you're the world champion of TMI: Too Much Information! 🤣🎙️ #BattleBroadcast