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Is there a time thief hiding in my couch, or did I just discover teleportation to bedtime? 🛋️⏰😴
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.
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Ah, the secret to unlocking happiness: Russian nesting dolls and Tupperware parties! 🎁😂
Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.
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Finding humor in chaos: achieving zen or just embracing your inner wackadoodle 🤪🧘♂️😂
Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.
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Sounds like my team and I are in a competition to see who can ruin my mood faster! 🏆🤦♂️😂
A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.
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🤣😂 Well, when it comes to secrets, silence is definitely golden… unless your friends have already mined those nuggets! 💎🙊
The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.
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Chips as a prelude to pizza? Sounds like my kind of culinary masterpiece 🎨🍕🥔
Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.
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When my cat sits on my lap, it's not affection—it's a tiny fluffy takeover 🐱👑😼
When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.
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Saving the world one unread message at a time! 🦸♂️📵✨
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.
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Stronger? Sure. Grumpier? Absolutely. I'm evolving into a moody superhero! 💪😤🙃
If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.
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Sure, I'll hang out… right after my imaginary pet unicorn learns to fly! 🦄✨