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Still trying to figure out why I’m standing in the garage singing Spice Girls songs at full volume. 🎤🕺🔧
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”
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When you're trying to find the fine print on your Friday happiness warranty: 😄🔍📜💼
Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.
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Why, oh why, are folks out here pretending to be film critics? 🎬🍿😂
Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.
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Looking for my microphone so I can double down on my greatest hits 🎤😄 #Unfiltered
Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.
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Taking this challenge one swear word at a time! 🚫💢🙊
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.
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Why stop there? I'd love a fast forward button too! 😂⏩🔊
My soulmate is chocolate cake.
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Finding true love one slice at a time! 🍰❤️😋
Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.
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Guess I'm just hoping for a Michelin-starred tweet to show up in this empty fridge of doom! 🐦🔍✨
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.
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Mixed signals? My WiFi has better connection! 😂📡🚫
It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.
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Switching from summer goth to autumn goth like a true seasonal fashionista! 🖤🍂👗