Commentary:
Pretending I have the answers, but really just a professional guesser! 🎲🤔
1681 Funny irony quotes
ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.
Commentary:
When my motivation hears ASAP: Assemble Sloths At Party 🦥🎉
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.
Commentary:
Well, maybe if expiration dates were printed on foreheads, we'd all be a little nicer 😂🤝⏳
“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.
Commentary:
Wonder if heaven's prosecutor gets paid in good karma or just really nice hugs 😂👼⚖️
The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.
Commentary:
When reality hits harder than my first crush at a demolition derby 😂💔 #DreamSquashed
The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.
Commentary:
When reality hits you like a cold shower just as you were getting to the good part 🌨️💤⏰
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.
Commentary:
Adulting: unlocking life's mysteries, one therapy session at a time. 🎂👉💸🛋️
What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.
Commentary:
Looks like someone needs a taste test before serving up that advice buffet! 🍴🙃
True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate plot twist — a romantic comedy where the main character ditches everyone for their cat and a lifetime supply of chocolate 😂🍫🐱
Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.
Commentary:
"Seems like we've all been reading the relationship handbook upside down 😂🤦♀️📚"