Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Spotted on Slack:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Trending via Threads:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Going viral on Instagram:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Shared recently on YouTube:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Seen just now on Twitch:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Funny late reply quotes

Funny late reply quotes are the perfect way to turn your texting delays into laughs 😂📱. Whether you’re notorious for ghosting friends or just need a fun excuse for that procrastinated message, these witty lines will have everyone cracking up 🤣⌛. Say goodbye to awkward silences and hello to playful comebacks that keep the convo alive and entertaining! 💬🔥

New funny late reply quotes 👇

All funny late reply quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on TikTok this month:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

47 shares on Messenger this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Can I come over and figure you out?

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Going bananas on Reddit:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Just shared via Telegram:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Spotted on WeChat:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Spotted on YouTube:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Time needs a speed limit.

Just landed via Twitch:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

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