Funny life joke quotes

• If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

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  3 months ago

  adult, adult life, adulting, humor, ID, joke, life, life joke, policy, responsibility, return, return policy, sarcasm

• If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

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  3 months ago

  aging, car, cd, colonoscopy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, medical, medical joke, original, protection, schedule, technology, time

• Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

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  3 months ago

  bad, calamari, comparison, ever, experiment, first time, food, food experiment, humor, joke, life, life joke, marriage, maybe, next, time, try, trying, trying food, unexpected, unexpected comparison

• How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

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  3 months ago

  age, age humor, aging, humor, impatience, joke, kick, life, life joke, old, older, still, thing, waiting, wisdom, wise

• Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

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  3 months ago

  30s, 40s, age, aging, car, check, check engine light, decade, engine, enjoy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, light, midlife

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