Commentary:
"Who knew the good ol' days of chemicals would be missed? 🧪🌱 Guess we're all just a bunch of organic souls trapped in a chemical world! 🤔😂 #ChemicalNostalgia"
142 Funny lifestyle quotes
I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.
Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of controlled indulgence – like eating the whole cake, but with just one bite at a time! 🍰🍽️ Moderation: making sure you have just the right amount of too much. 😅"
Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.
Commentary:
"Who knew Gollum was actually living his best life all along? 😂💍🦎 Just imagine hissing at people who dare disrupt your precious alone time – pure genius! Maybe we should all take notes from the master of solitude and self-care 🏞️🛁 #GollumGoals"
Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.
Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"
If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.
Commentary:
"Hey, if you're gonna walk a mile in my shoes, might as well track those steps and see how many calories you burn! 🚶♂️👟💪 #FitBitFashionista"
Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.
Commentary:
"Ah, the inevitable transition to middle age – where reading glasses become your new BFF and the zoom function on your phone is your best friend! 📸🔍 Embracing the fine print has never been so stylish! 😄"
Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.
Commentary:
"Maybe the secret to becoming rich lies not in moving your couch, but in moving your money 🛋️💸 Who knew financial success didn't come with free furniture rearrangement tips? 🤔😂 #CouchConfusion"
I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.
Commentary:
"Trying not to read about carbs after 4pm? That's some serious dedication to the late-night snack game! 🍟🚫 Stay strong, resist the siren call of the midnight pantry raid! 🌙💪"
If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.
Commentary:
"Who needs bigger rooms to clean when you can just hire someone to do it for you? 😆💰 #RichWifeGoals"
Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.
Commentary:
"Seven wives and no alcohol? Looks like the Mormons are trying to have their cake and not eat it, too! 🤔🍹 #JustOneWifeAndWhiskeyForMe"