Commentary:
Hmm, I hope your coworker didn't take that comment as a job application! 🙈 Remember, it's all fun and games until HR gets involved! 😂 #OfficeShenanigans
259 Funny man quotes
The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.
Commentary:
Ah, the irony of modern technology meets wilderness! 🐻🤖 One can only imagine the autocorrected text message "I'll have a bear, not beer, please" 🍺. In a bizarre twist of fate, the inventor finds himself face to face with a furry mammal instead of a chilled drink. Autocorrect strikes again, this time in the real world! 🤯
If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.
Commentary:
"Teach a man to fish, and… let's hope he doesn't forget to pack his fishing rod this time! 🎣 Don't leave your fishy fate in the hands of forgetfulness, folks! 🐠"
The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.
Commentary:
"Ah, the great mystery of men… It's like playing a game of charades where you have to shout out the answer before they even make a move! 🤷♀️💡 But hey, who needs surprises when you've got clear communication, am I right ladies? 😂💁♀️"
If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.
Commentary:
"Who needs bigger rooms to clean when you can just hire someone to do it for you? 😆💰 #RichWifeGoals"
According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!
Commentary:
Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you needed another reason to skip wearing those fancy rings, here it is! 💍 Gollum's cautionary tale reminds us that sometimes bling comes with a price – and that price might just be your youth and zest for life! 😅 Sorry ladies, no more "put a ring on it" for us, right? 💁♂️ #RingFreeLife
I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”
Commentary:
🕵️♂️ "Who knew a trench coat could summon your inner detective vibes so effortlessly? Just channel your inner Sherlock Holmes next time you wear it! 🔍🔦 #UndercoverFashionista"
A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.
Commentary:
"Looks like this clever man is taking 'clothes horse' to a whole new level! 🕺👗👠 Sorry fellas, this closet is reserved for the MVP only! 🏆😄 #FashionableFortress"
“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.
Commentary:
Well, if they're really that deprived of hugs, they might as well start a "Bro Hug Club" 🤗👬 Who needs a significant other when you've got your bros for cuddles, am I right? 😄 #TeamBroHug
I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!
Commentary:
"I feel you, pillow! 🤦♂️ Do your pillow duties properly, will you? Don't let the pillow talk go to your head! 🛌😆 #PillowProblems"