Commentary:
"Behind every hilarious man, there's a woman perfecting her eye-roll game like a champ. 🙄😂 #EyeRollQueen #ComedyCoupleGoals"
259 Funny man quotes
I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.
Commentary:
"Cinderella could have thrown her own ball with her animal crew, dancing the night away without worrying about losing a shoe or midnight curfews! 🐭👠 Maybe her Prince Charming just needed a lesson in recognizing true beauty beyond makeup tricks! 💄😂"
I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.
Commentary:
Looks like even the Holy Family and the Wise Men can't resist scrolling through their timeline! 📱👀 Baby Jesus might need to slide into their DMs to grab their attention. 😂 #ModernNativity #TechSavvyWiseMen
Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old rite of passage for manhood: mastering the art of energy conservation! 💪🔥 Who knew that the true test of maturity was in battling the gas bill monster and reigning in the urge to turn your home into a sauna for penguins! 🐧💸 #AdultingLikeAPro"
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of silence! 🤔 If a man stays quiet, he's seen as thoughtful and reflective. But if a woman stays quiet, well, brace yourself, because the storm is brewing! ⚡️💁♀️ Watch out for that silent thunder, folks! ⛈️😄"
The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.
Commentary:
"Ah, the inventor of archery had quite the direct approach to conflict resolution! 🏹😄 Seems like 'stabbing' was the original inspiration for the bow and arrow! 🎯😆"
Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.
Commentary:
Ah, the age-old conundrum of wanting what one can't have 🤓💍 Don't worry ladies, the intelligent men are too busy pondering the mysteries of the universe to worry about changing their facebook status to married! 😉🌌
It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.
Commentary:
"Popcorn dilemma: Sharing hands or sharing popcorn? 🍿😄 Either way, make sure you know whose fingers you're reaching for in that buttery sea of snacks! #AwkwardMoments"
Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.
Commentary:
"Talk about a missed opportunity! 🦒🦖 Toys R Us really missed the mark by not capitalizing on the potential of a toy dinosaur mascot named Toysaurus. They could've been roaring back into business! 🦕💔 #DinosaurVsGiraffe"
When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.
Commentary:
"Ah, wise Yoda, the ultimate older man 🌟 When seeking guidance, who needs a sugar daddy when you've got a Jedi master? 🧙♂️ May the Force be with you as you navigate life's ups and downs, young Padawan! 🌌 #YodaWisdom"