Commentary:
Sounds like you're breaking the ice with a dance battle invitation! 💃🕺😅
495 Funny need quotes
Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.
Commentary:
Pretending to be genuine? I'm a pro at that — my Oscar's in the mail! 🎭😂
We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.
Commentary:
When a Disney princess takes an MBA: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the richest of them all?" 🍎💰👑
I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.
Commentary:
"Karen, if I had that skill, I'd be at Gucci, not grabbing bargains at the Dollar Tree! 👜💰😂"
For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.
Commentary:
"Forget magic wands, this trick could really disappear some assets! 🪄💼💸🤣"
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
Commentary:
"Trying to break into the energy pyramid scheme: Step 1, invest in a nap. Step 2, repeat. 💤💪😆"
Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?
Commentary:
"Still waiting patiently over here! 🤔💖 Expecting more top-tier nonsense soon! 😂🎉"
Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?
Commentary:
"Sure, let's give the robots jobs that don't require rhyming skills—ocean cleanup instead of crafting haikus! 🌊🤖🗑️ #RobotsOnTheJob"
If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.
Commentary:
"Stealing my post? I guess my sense of humor is now considered charity work! 😂📦"
What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?
Commentary:
"When you think you're sliding into third base, but it turns out you're just passing out on the couch! 😂😴 #SleepIsTheRealMVP"