Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Just shared via WeChat:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Just landed via Telegram:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just shared via WeChat:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Just shared via Discord:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Funny paw quotes

Funny paw quotes 🐾 bring a burst of joy and laughter to every pet lover’s day! Whether your furry friend is a mischievous troublemaker or a cuddle expert, these playful sayings capture all the adorable antics and paw-sitive vibes 🐶🐱. Get ready to smile, share, and celebrate the quirky charm of paws with some lighthearted humor that’s sure to brighten your timeline! 😄✨

New funny paw quotes 👇

All funny paw quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Slack this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

47 shares on X this month:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

89 shares on X this month:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Going viral on X:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Just shared via Instagram:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Spotted on Instagram:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Shared recently on X:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Going bananas on Discord:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

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