Commentary:
"When they talk, even the walls want noise-canceling headphones! 🙉😂"
316 Funny person quotes
I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.
Commentary:
"Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦♂️ #LostAndThirsty"
I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.
Commentary:
"Whoever invented these spellings must have had a 'wry' sense of humor! 🤔🤣🗓️"
I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.
Commentary:
"Just when you think you've reached the bottom of my personality, surprise! There's a basement! 😂🤷♂️ #PlotTwist #StillWorseThanThat"
If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.
Commentary:
"When you realize the fridge is just as empty in a mansion 🍽️🤷♂️ #StayHungry"
I have the bruises of a much more active person.
Commentary:
"Those bruises are just my body’s way of telling me I’m living my best 'accidental Olympic athlete' life 😂🏅🤕"
The worst person you know is studying psychology.
Commentary:
Uh oh, looks like your frenemies are about to psychoanalyze your coffee order ☕️🧠😂
For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.
Commentary:
"When your grocery list suddenly includes 'stealth mode' and 'invisibility cloak'… 🥷🥬😅"
Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.
…
Commentary:
"When a text message sounds exactly like them, I giggle as if they're narrating their own drama! 🤣🎤 #ChuckleComms"
Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.
…
Commentary:
"Mastering the fine art of digital nonsense: because if life gives you lemons, the internet gives us a megaphone! 🎤😜🍋"