Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Making waves on Pinterest:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Making waves on Reddit:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Breaking via Reddit:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Making waves on YouTube:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Funny program quotes

Funny program quotes 💻😂 are the perfect blend of tech wit and humor that every coder, developer, or tech enthusiast will love! Whether debugging nightmares or coding triumphs, these gems bring laughter to the screen and brighten up those long programming sessions. Ready to laugh your bugs away? Let’s dive into some hilarious lines that make programming way more fun! 🚀💡🤣

New funny program quotes 👇

All funny program quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

43 shares on Discord this month:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

20 shares on Threads this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Just shared via Reddit:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Just shared via Slack:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Making waves on Slack:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Just landed via Telegram:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Spotted on Twitch:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

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