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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

6 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Going viral on TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Just shared via WeChat:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Just shared via TikTok:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Live now on Facebook:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Home » Funny Program Quotes

Funny program quotes

New funny program quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate challenge – the 'Get Off the Couch' program. Step 1: Look at the couch longingly. Step 2: Contemplate the possibility of standing up. Step 3: Take a deep breath and consider the benefits of movement. Stay tuned for Step 12: Actually getting up… maybe."
6 months ago
Share →: Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Commentary:
"Anxiety: the gift that keeps on giving…and taking 😅💳 Imagine racking up points every time you overthink – redeemable for extra worrying or free panic attacks! Who needs a points card when you've got anxiety on your side? 🏆✨"

For even more funny program quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny program quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

6 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Just shared via Threads:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Seen just now on X:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Live now on X:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

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