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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has viewed:

Moms be like, β€œYour cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has shared:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Slack:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Breaking via TikTok:

I think God was high when he made me.

Shared recently on X:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Breaking via Twitch:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Seen just now on Messenger:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Home Β» Funny Selfishness Quotes

Funny selfishness quotes

Funny selfishness quotes bring a cheeky twist to putting yourself first 😎✨ Whether you’re embracing a little me-time or just owning your quirks, these witty lines serve up laughs and self-love in equal measure πŸ˜‚πŸ’– Get ready to celebrate the art of being unapologetically you, with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of sass! 😜πŸ”₯

New funny selfishness quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny selfishness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,644

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has shared:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on X:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Just shared via YouTube:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Just landed via Instagram:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Breaking via Instagram:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

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