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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Spotted on X:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Shared recently on X:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Going viral on Instagram:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Trending via Instagram:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Funny Shazam quotes

Funny Shazam quotes add a playful spark to the superhero universe. ⚡😂 From witty one-liners to humorous moments involving the mighty hero, these quotes bring a lighthearted touch to Shazam’s adventures. Enjoy a laugh and see the funny side of superhero antics with these funny Shazam quotes! 🌟😆

New funny Shazam quotes 👇

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

7 days ago

awkward, awkward moment, big, bonk, comparison, feels, funny comparison, hammer, head, moment, music, music recognition, public, recognition, same, Shazam, song, taking, yourself
Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

7 days ago

able, app, desire, feeling, heart, humor, inner, inner feeling, music, music app, Shazam, should, yearning
I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

1 week ago

app, fragrance, humor, i, music, music app, perfume, scent, Shazam, technology, wish
Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

3 weeks ago

apartment, hell, Shazam, upstairs, whatever
Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

3 weeks ago

awkwardness, forgetfulness, humor, introduction, just, me, name, person, Shazam, social, social awkwardness
Shazam but for random noises outside.

3 weeks ago

creativity, humor, noise, outside, random, random noise, Shazam, sound, superhero

All funny Shazam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

28 shares on Threads this month:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

95 shares on WeChat this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Trending via Reddit:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Trending via YouTube:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Shared recently on X:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Just landed via TikTok:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Spotted on Slack:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

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