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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Going bananas on Discord:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Trending via WeChat:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Spotted on Facebook:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Making waves on Threads:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

242 Funny situation quotes

More funny situation quotes 👇

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

2 weeks ago

DM, funny situation, music, outdoor, outside, romance, situation, speaker, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, window
That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

2 weeks ago

anger, awkward, awkward moment, click, frustration, humor, moment, pen, situation, social, social situation, someone, time
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

2 weeks ago

broke, funny situation, house, humor, joke, just, laugh, money, robber, search, situation
Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

2 weeks ago

conversation, fake, fake smile, hobby, humor, patience, people, situation, smile, smiling, social, social situation, stop, talking, waiting
Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

2 weeks ago

couple, funny situation, humor, husband, irony, lost, lost money, money, relationship, search, situation, spending, yesterday
Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

2 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situation, dance, faucet, humor, malfunction, motion, motion sensor, robo-dancer, sensor, situation, technology, water
My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

2 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situation, comedy, humor, interaction, irony, secret, secret talent, self-deprecation, situation, social, social interaction, talent, turning
It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

2 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situation, exercise, humor, i, jogging, last, long time, sex, situation, time
It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

2 weeks ago

bizarre, community, done, done that, experience, humor, matter, online, Reddit, situation, somebody, storytelling
Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

2 weeks ago

bathroom, gangster, humor, need, pee, reality, situation, urgency

For even more funny situation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

24 shares on X this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

79 shares on Slack this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Earth is hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Trending via WeChat:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Just landed via Threads:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Going viral on Facebook:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Activity Log ✨

242 Funny situation quotes

More funny situation quotes 👇

All funny situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨