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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Going bananas on Messenger:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Just landed via Messenger:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Making waves on Discord:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Funny slice quotes

Funny slice quotes bring a tasty twist to your day 🍕😂 Whether it’s pizza, cake, or life’s little slices, these witty lines serve up laughs and good vibes in every bite 🍰😄 Ready to slice through boredom and sprinkle some humor on your feed? Let’s dig in and enjoy the fun-filled flavors of laughter! 🍕🎉

New funny slice quotes 👇

All funny slice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

83 shares on Slack this month:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake me up when I’m rich!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Spotted on TikTok:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Breaking via TikTok:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Breaking via Instagram:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

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