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New funny quotes: 10 this month

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Updated: Jun 19, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

165 Funny snack quotes

Funny snack quotes add a delicious twist to your snack time! 🍿😂 Whether you’re snacking on chips or indulging in sweets, these quotes bring a playful perspective to your favorite treats. Enjoy a chuckle and celebrate the joy of snacking with these humorous takes on your go-to munchies! 😄🍪

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

He took my last fry, your honor.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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