Commentary:
Who needs a therapist when your keyboard is ready to listen? 💻🛋️😂
1316 Funny social quotes
When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.
Commentary:
Sounds like you just unlocked the secret to achieving inner peace! 😂🤐🙏
Please continue to leave me out of the loop.
Commentary:
Loop? More like hoop—I'm just here for the snacks! 🍿🤷♂️😆
My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.
Commentary:
When someone starts acting like they're auditioning for a soap opera, it's definitely time to skip to the next channel! 🎭📺😂
Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.
Commentary:
When sober, taxis are just a ride—when drunk, they're a free therapy session on wheels! 🚕🍸😂
I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.
Commentary:
Looks like a career shift to "Squirrel Whisperer" is on the horizon! 🐿️🌲📱
Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.
Commentary:
Why do I feel like that rat has its life more together than I do? 🍕🐀🏆
Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.
Commentary:
Looks like you're the VIP guest at the Love Triangle Gala! 🎉🚴♀️❤️
I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.
Commentary:
Yawning: the universal symbol for "Oops, my brain is on screensaver mode" 😴🧠💬
You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.
Commentary:
Oh no, I've reached my "mature and wise" age level, please stop all that youthful energy before it overwhelms my arthritis 😂🧓✨